Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The UnRadio Times - New Year, Same Old Tripe! TV Listings

UNRADIO TIMES


NEW YEAR, SAME OLD TRIPE


PREPOSTEROUS PROGRAMME OF THE DAY
I Love Myself (12.45am TVC1)
Who'd have thought turning a cameraphone the wrong way round and taking vain snapshots of ourselves would actually become a global phenomenon. Psychologists have pointed out that historically that even the most vain of us have only bothered to take about 10 self portrait pictures a year.



6.00am Kids
Programmes for children, cartoons and stuff like that, as you're an adult you only need to know that they will keep them quiet for about 5 minutes. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
9.35 The Wright Stuff: New Year Special.
In 2014, a MORI poll suggested that 20% of the populace now gives a hoot about the New Year, what are your views, call the studio on 020020020020.
FUN FACT: The Wright Stuff will not be broadcast tomorrow morning as the production staff and everyone involved will probably be unconscious after a night long party.
11.15 The Thrift of President Obama
President Obama is taken round a “thrift store” which is known as a “charity shop” in the UK. What will he buy? 
FUN FACT: The actual President Barack Obama was not actually available for the making of this programme so you will see a stand in. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
12.15pm New Year Resolutions from Hell
Featuring some of the most bizarre New Year resolutiuons including an obese man who pledged never to eat chips or potatoes ever again and failed only on the second day of the new year and a man who pledged to visit every single country in the world and then got detained in North Korea. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
1.15 NEW SERIES: I Fracked My Back
Individuals who decided to sell off their back gardens to make money from controversial “fracking” tell their stories. The series continues in daytime in the New Year Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
Unradio Times: Get your very own Quadrilla Fracking Drill now being sold from the former BBC TV Centre in Whitehall, London Freepost, W1A 1AA. RRP £199.99
2.15 Dale Winton: Oh God I Hate The New Year
The camp comedian reveals why he hates the New Year celebrations more than any other time of the year. Recounting tales of never finding a man to kiss as he only managed to attend heterosexual parties and how he can never stick to any of his new years resolutions like giving up giving up smoking Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
3.15 FILM: The Oxo Cube Family Movie (1987)
Feature length comedy drama featuring the characters from the original Oxo Cube commercials. Mum puts white carpets in each room of the house in order to catch out her less than houseproud family members. Subtitles, Widescreen
4.00 Germaine Greer's Feminist New Year Message 
The celebrated feminist argues that the New Year celebrations remain a fundamentally patriarchial institution. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
4.15 Out with the Old and in with the new 
Featuring a family from Sheffield who take the phrase literally by getting rid of everything from their house and replacing it with new items from scratch every New Year. A skip arrives in their street every New Year's Eve causing relations with neighbours that get frostier than the typical outdoor temperature. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
4.45 News, Weather & Balls 
Revealing the latest things to go wrong around the world, how cold you will be when you are forced to go outside at Midnight and who has kicked what balls around at which football stadiums this afternoon.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
5.15 Break The Ice Bucket (If I Told You to jump into the fire would you do it?)
As trends go, 2014 was the year with one of the most ridiculous according to celebrities that feature here. Talking heads including Ricky Gervais, Stephen Fry, Rowan Atkinson, , Mark Radcliffe, Richard Dawkins and the Archbishop of Canterbury discuss their utter contempt for the fad in this hour long special.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
5.45 I made a controversial film about the assasination of the real North Korea leader Kim Yung-un which resulted in terrorist threats to cinemas causing the studio to pull the release only to cave in to pressure from the internet and President Obama to put it out online only for it to become the most illegally downloaded film of the year... and Proud!“The Interview” Filmmaker Seth Rogen talks candidly about his decision to make a satirical comedy film about North Korea and how he was dared by a member of the production team to fly to North Korea with a DVD copy of the film strapped to his T-shirt to see if he could safely return to the US afterwards.Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
6.20 I Downloaded the Interview and Proud
Stories from those who openly defied copyright laws and downloaded the much talked about controversial film “The Interview”.Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
6.30 I hold anti social parties and Proud
Barnet's environmental health team is now used to coming out to Becky's annual raucous all night New Year's Eve party which has now made the Guinness Book of Records for having the longest duration of any New Year party in the UK when one year it lasted until January the 5th.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
7.00 Paul Hollywood's Genetically mmmmmodified!
The Great British Bake Off star explains why sometimes genetically modified food can be delish and fun and tries out a few recipes from the new Monsanto Bake Off cookbook.
Genetically Mmmmmodified mmmmmouth watering recipes is out now from all good booksellers and let's face it Amazon with an RRP of £14.99.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
7.30 Jeremy Paxman – Why I Stopped Doing Newsnight - The seasoned presenter gives himself a hard hitting interview that promises to dig deep about why he decided to stop doing “Newsnight” in 2014. Knowing Paxman he will stop at nothing to get the answers from himself. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
8.00 My Dysfunctional Family 
Steve holds a spectacular new year party and decides to antagonise the neighbours he has fallen out with during the year by not inviting them and deliberately placing his Hi-Fi speakers against their party wall. Repeat, Subtitles, Widescreen. FUN FACT: The series was cancelled before HD was widespread so you'll only ever see repeats upscaled.
8.30 IQ – Why Is the New Year?
The programme which dares to talk about intelligent trivia. Why do we signify a new year as the new year is continuous who can really say when it actually starts anyway, when did a year first began and will it actually ever end? And why are New Year's actually new as we get one every year? With Stephen Fry of course. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
IQ – The Complete 28
th Series is available now, but sales are low as the most intelligent of viewers have already completely memorised it or just recorded it off air.
9.00 Your Christmas Junk – Flog It! Christmas Special 
Guests attempt to flog their least desired christmas presents to a bemused crowd in a village hall in Gloucestershire.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
10.00 That Was Just Another Year
Celebrities take a sardonic look at the various news related pap that occurred during 2014 just as it would in any other year and the reveal the outcome of the viewer vote for the “crappiest story of the year” With Mark Radcliffe, Russell Brand, Charlie Brooker, Jeremy Paxman & Alan Titchmarsh.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
11.00 New Series: The History of Clocks
(1/1)
The first of a one part episode of a series with historian Adam Hart Davis who presents a detailed analysis of how the horological instruments we now use so much first came to be. He demonstrates the first ever clock which was just someone looking up at the sun and making a note of it and looks at how the technology has progressed to the point of Casio Watches and Iphones which contain a built in clock. 
The Complete First Series (The whole one episode) of “The History Of Clocks” is available now on DVD from all good DVDsellers priced £17.99.
11.55 Not Going Out Live!
Entertainment for viewers who couldn't make it to a party and as Midnight approaches you will be treated to a virtual kiss on the screen as “The One Show's” Christine Bleakley walks up and kisses the camera lens. Featuring archive material from Eric Carmen performing “All By Myself”.
12.15am John Bishop Live: Don't Women Hate Footie Tour
The still relatively fresh Liverpool comedian presents highlights from his most recent stand up DVD which contained only material about either women or footballForbidden to record as it's available on DVD and should be a best seller. Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
12.45 I Love Myself (r)
Examining the rise of the global “selfie” phomenonon which emerged in 2013. Everyone from Cheryl Cole, President Obama to the Dalai Lama have been taking the infamous self portraits. Why are we so complelled to take pictures of ourselves and arewe all just vain? A leading psychologist doesn't know. Includes a performance by the DivinylsSubtitles, Widescreen, HD
1.15 Songs Of Praise Live at the O2 Arena
Alan Titchmarsh provides coverage of the sellout religious concert from earlier this year which included performances by “Rage Against The Machine” opposite the “Military Wives Choir” which made for an unusual but complelling live music collaboration. Titchmarsh also does a spot of impromptu gardening on some flower beds at the edge of the stadium before they get unfortunately trampled on by an enthusiastic hymn singing crowdSubtitles, Widescreen, HD
The Songs Of Praise O2 Arena Specials are available on Blu-Ray.
2.10 New Year But the Same Old Crime 
A Police Cops special following Thameside Police on New Year's Eve which is traditionally the most crime ridden night of the year, with more drunken antics, robberies and fistfights than at any other time of the year. One New Year's Eve in the 80's which also co-incided with a full moon produced absolutely staggerting crime statistics.
Subtitles, Widescreen, Police Footage looks like it's been taken on the world's first ever cameraphone so definitely not HD!
Did you do something you shouldn't like drive after a few drinks in the early hours of New Year's Morning, hand yourself and your licence in now for a free copy of the complete series of “Police Cops” on DVD.
3.05 The Apprentice: Why I Sued Them (r)
Lord Alan Sugar hasn't had the most harmonious relationship with many of the winning contestants from his hit business reality show “The Apprentice”. This programme takes a look at some of the more tumultuous and ultimately litigious outcomes from the process.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
4.00 Pretty Colours, Teletubbies and Loud sound effects
Most viewers will not be capable of coherently watching a TV programme due to the copious amount of alcohol they will have consumed, As a result this simple programme gives them something to stare at.
Subtitles, Widescreen, HD
4.45-7am No One's Watching so it's the news channel.


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